We've all worried about something at some point or another. Some of us love to worry, because it feels like we're doing something. Worrying is natural, but worrying isn't a positive way to handle a situation. We often worry about things we have no control over! We worry about the future and the 'what ifs'. We invent stories and bring them to full completion with a whole cycle of what ifs, leading us down a dark and gloomy worry path, that then leads to further worry, stress, and anxiety.
Why am I writing about worrying? Well, while I don't love to worry, I do so often. If I don't stop myself from worrying and truly ask myself the following questions, I can worry myself into a further well of worries.
1. What are you worrying about? Discern between worries that you can control and the ones you have no control over.
A. If something is totally out of your control (it deals with the future, the unknown, or a 'what if' scenario) - STOP WORRYING! Instead, be in the present moment, give thanks for what you have, and focus on what you can control, which is your own behavior and your own reactions.
B. If it is in your control (it deals with the now, it's something that has been causing you stress in your life, your work, etc), - MOVE ON TO QUESTION 2
2. What can you DO? Focus on action, rather than more thinking/feeling/worrying.
A. If you're worried about something you have control over, such as finishing a project, then set time aside to get it done and just do it. Do a brain dump of your to dos, and then calendar in your work.
B. If you're worried about a relationship, speak to that person to express your concerns and find a way to fix it. Think about what YOU can do to make it better rather than just waiting for the other person to fix it. Take initiative and be proactive.
STOP WORRYING ABOUT FUTURE UNCERTAINTY AND BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: The antithesis of worrying is being mindful. Many people connect mindfulness with meditation, but in reality mindfulness is dealing with the present moment and focusing on one thing at a time.
What suggestions do you have to stop worrying and to focus more on the present?